


Can You Troll Yourself?

by silentsongstress



Series: And So The World Ends [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Horn piles, Humanstuck, M/M, Sadstuck, The Meteor, mcdonalds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-06
Updated: 2012-07-06
Packaged: 2017-11-09 07:02:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/452656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentsongstress/pseuds/silentsongstress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short companion story to And So The World Ends. Contains some spoilers for later Chapters of AStWE as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can You Troll Yourself?

I stared at the viewport screen, watching some human-John I remembered-fight with “dad”, his lusus, over some confectionary creation. I was pretty bored. The sort of bored where banging one’s head on the wall was starting to look pretty appealing.  
My boredom ended abruptly, when Sollux let out a squeak of shock, making Aradia-bot jerk her head to look at him.  
“KK, come thee thith.” He sounded both awed and afraid. I picked myself up and leaned over to see my auspistice’s viewport.  
“What the hell is it?”  
He pointed at the screen, specifically, a pair of people-myself and Gamzee. If we were pink, squishy, hornless humans.  
“What the grublicking fuck is going on here?” I stared at the screen in astonishment. What were these humans doing wearing our faces?  
“I can thee about their nameth and pethterchumth if you want.” Sollux offered, already typing.  
“Yeah, let me know when you find something.” I went back to my viewport and tracked down my doppelganger-human-self. Currently, he was sitting in a restaurant emblazoned with golden letter ‘M’’s in any available space. Gamzee-lookalike sat across from doppelganger-me, with a white tube in his mouth. I zoomed in and turned on the sound, plugging in my headphones.  
“Aren’t these little potato sticks just the most miraculous things, my best friend?” he asked, blowing smoke from his mouth.  
“Gam, chill the fuck out. They’re just fries.” Doppelganger-me says, but ‘Gam’ has gone off to another table, to show off the fries-which the man actually already has a bag of-to an older looking adult.  
“I was just telling my motherfucking best friend Kalvin how much of a miracle these fries are. Have you tasted these miracles yet my brother?” Kalvin dragged Gam from the building, hissing angrily. Despite myself, I had to laugh. My doppelganger was pretty similar to me.  
~  
A couple days later, Sollux pulled me from my viewport. “KK, thereth another me down on earth too!” I could tell he was excited . ‘He’th got a pethterchum, tho I can talk to him!”  
The psiioniic pulled up his viewport window, pointing out his doppelganger, sitting in front of a red gravestone with my doppelganger-Kalvin. We waited until Sollan-Sollux’s doppelganger-was alone before messaging him.  
TwinArmageddons [TA] began trolling TimedApocalypse [TA] at 10:03 PM

TA: hello 2ollan  
TA: who are you?  
TA iim your troll 2elf. iit2 a biit compliicated.  
TA: iim all ear2  
TA: well, you 2ee…  
I watched Sollux talk with Sollan for a little while, before I got bored. Again. I headed over to see Gamzee, who was sitting in his horn pile.  
“Hello there my best friend. Want to up and get our feelings on?” he asked, patting the horns beside him. I decided it couldn’t hurt to join him. Plopping into the pile-my landing causing the horns beneath me to honk quietly-I was quickly wrapped into a patent Gamzee-moirail-squeeze. I might have been a shooshpaping wonder, but Gamzee’s moirail hugs were just about on par with me. I heaved a sigh, relaxing into his embrace. Ever since we’d come to the asteroid lab, I’d had a nagging sense of foreboding, but Gamzee always made it melt away.  
~  
Sollux had left the lab early, and I was alone with my thoughts. I pulled up Pesterchum and clicked on timedApocalypse. It connected to the most viable point in his timeline, and opened a chat box.  
CarcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling TimedApocalypse [TA] at 05:12 AM  
CG: HELLO SOLLAN  
TA: who are you? Why diid you feel the need two wake me up thii2 early?  
CG I’M KARKAT.  
CG: I’VE GOT SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU.  
TA: do go on.  
CG: LOOK, DON’T BE A SMARTASS  
CG: I WANT YOU TO LOOK FOR carmineGenetics ON PESTERCHUM. HIS REAL NAME IS KALVIN.  
TA: that 2ound2 2uper creepy  
CG: I KNOW IT SOUNDS DUMB, FUCKASS.  
CG: BUT HE CAN HELP WITH THE VOICES  
TA: how diid you know?  
CG: DOESN’T MATTER RIGHT NOW.  
CG: MY FRIEND SOLLUX HAS THE SAME PROBLEM. AS HIS AUSPISTICE, I HELP HIM CALM THEM DOWN. HAVING A MATESPRIT HELPS TOO.  
CG: KALVIN HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE YOURS.  
TA: what doe2 your friiend have to do with me? Who2 2ollux? What2 a mate2priit?  
CG: CRAP. THIS IS WHY I HATE CHRONOLOGY. IT GETS FUCKED UP WAY TO EASILY.  
TA: what are you talkiing about?  
CG: SOLLUX WILL EXPLAIN.  
TA: ugh  
CG: SORRY. DON’T WORRY  
CG: SOMEONE WILL TROLL YOU LATER. LIKE IN A FEW DAYS. SO YEAH. DON’T MISS IT, FUCKASS.  
CG: IN THE MEANTIME, GO FIND KALVIN  
CarcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling TimedApocalypse [TA] at 05:36 AM

I cursed the timey-whimey bullshit that was currently my past, present and future.  
~  
I still couldn’t believe his chumhandle was carmineGenetics. Carmine. It appeared he even typed in red. I was still surprised. I’d actually flipped out for a bit when I realized he was flaunting his bloodcolor, and hadn’t been culled yet. Then I remembered he was on Earth-they all had red mutant blood there. A little voice in the back of my head told me I’d cursed them all with my horrid mutation-that I was as bad as the highbloods always said-but I pushed it (forcefully) from my mind and sat down to troll my human self.  
CarcinoGeneticist [CG] has begun trolling CarmineGenetics [CG] at 8:02 AM  
CG: HELLO  
CG: WHO ARE YOU?  
CG: WAIT. KARKAT?  
CG: YEAH  
CG: I WANTED TO MEET THE HUMAN ME.  
CG: BEFORE THE APOCALYPSE  
CG: SAY WHAT?  
CG: LONG STORY. DOESN’T MATTER. IF YOU WANT TO KNOW, I SUPPOSE YOU COULD ASK SOLLAN. IF HE’S ANYTHING LIKE MY SOLLUX, HE WILL KNOW.  
CG: DO I WANT TO KNOW?  
CG: I DON’T KNOW, DO YOU?  
CG: ENJOY YOUR PARTY.  
CarcinoGeneticist [CG] has ceased trolling CarmineGenetics [CG] at 8:15 AM  
I laid my head on my arms with a sigh. Sollux came over and read my trollian log.  
“He thounth a lot like you, KK.” He said.  
I lifted my head and gave him a smile. “Is that a compliment?”  
He quirked an eyebrow, “Tho, want to watch?”  
The viewport focused on Kalvin and Sollan, sitting together beside a lake. The sky turned orange, and I knew the first disc had been played. Meteors rained down from the sky, trashing the world we’d created, all our hard work destroyed. It was disappointing. When the meteors died down, there wasn’t really any earth left to speak of.  
“FF thayth that they’ll end up in the dream bubbleth.” Sollux shut off the screen with a sigh. He patted my back gently, joining Feferi in the horn pile, leaving me to my thoughts.  
I opened the timeline generator, deciding to choose a random point in the John-Human’s timeline and troll the heck out of him to blow off some steam. Browsing his timeline for a good place for a First Trolling, I found a black spot where the timeline flickered out. It concerned me, so I clicked there to see what the Human had fucked up to make his timeline go screwy.


End file.
